Influence- the Psychology of Persuasion by Rob Cialdini-Review (mainly copied)

 INFLUENCE: The Psychology of Persuasion

Charlie Munger often refers to this book and there are many references in the Almanac. CM famously gifted a share of BRK to the author as a thank you, given the amount of money BRK had made or saved from the lessons in the book. The author is not a finance guy but the use cases made were certainly noticed by the BRK duo and applied in the world of business. I have built upon another blog piece as a base for this entry. since i read a library copy and didn't want to mark it up!

There has been added another principle since this edition-unity, being made aware of common experiences and pasts.

Principles to get your way.

Cialdini has spent a lifetime researching the psychology of compliance.

The book highlights six principles (he has since added a seventh—unity) of persuasion, which compliance practitioners commonly use.

We all employ them and fall victim to them, to some degree, in our daily interactions with neighbours, friends, lovers, and offspring. But the compliance practitioners have much more than the vague and amateurish understanding of what works than the rest of us have. … It is odd that despite their current widespread use and looming future importance, most of us know very little about our automatic behaviour patterns. Perhaps that is so precisely because of the mechanistic, unthinking manner in which they occur. Whatever the reason, it is vital that we clearly recognize one of their properties: They make us terribly vulnerable to anyone who does know how they work.

These principles work via near-automatic response – a “nearly mechanical process by which the power within these weapons can be activated, and the consequent exploitability of this power by anyone who knows how to trigger them.”

Reciprocation

This principle is timeless. When you’re nice to someone, they are nice back. When you’re mean to someone, they are mean back.

The key to unlocking reciprocation is to go first and go positive.

Most people are passive — they wait for someone to do something nice before they do something nice for them. However, if you go positive and go first without expectations, the world will do most of the work for you.

Reciprocation works on multiple levels. We are more likely to trust someone who trusts us. We want to help people who help us.

Reciprocation is the basis of cashing in points, calling in a favour, owing other people one, etc. I did it for you, and now you do it for me.

One way to resist this is to refuse the initial favour or gift. Once you accept, it becomes harder to stay outside the influence.

The underhanded way to use this is to leverage up the quid quo pro so what you ask is much larger than what you gave (enforcing uninvited debts), Unfair exchanges and reciprocation can also undermine the ability to be unbiased decision due to the base effect of the initial gift.

Commitment and Consistency

Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment.

It’s easier to get people to comply with requests they see as consistent with what they’ve already said (especially in your presence.)

This is the basis for one of the most powerful interview tips ever. If you ask people to state their priorities and goals and then align your proposals with that in mind, you make it harder for people to say no.

Once you’ve got a man’s self-image where you want it, he should comply naturally with a whole range of your requests that are consistent with this new view of himself.

Consistency is the basis for the Ikea Effect and why people value something more if they have created or worked for it.

If you write or verbally commit to something, in someone's presence, then it is very difficult to refute a request that is consistent with what you have just aligned yourself with. For example, publicly stating that you like fitness, wines, reading etc then not taking out a subscription consistent with your former statement.

Say less at work, and you’ll be more flexible when things change. Also, examine why you want to comply and if things have changed. And keep a decision journal to see how often you’re wrong — there is no point in holding on to bad ideas.

SOCIAL PROOF

we…use the actions of others to decide on proper behaviour for ourselves.

People will likely say yes when they see others doing it, too. This is amplified in situations of uncertainty, where we look to others for cues on what we should do. This can be dangerous.

In an emergency, you might look around for clues on what to do and how to act. Others, of course, might do the same thing. This is why, when you take emergency training, one of the first things you learn is how to give explicit instructions to people by pointing at them. For example, pointing at someone and saying ‘you call 911’. Then, you point to another person and ask them to do something else.

Cialdini writes:

In the process of examining the reactions of other people to resolve our uncertainty, however, we are likely to overlook a subtle but important fact. Those people are probably examining the social evidence, too.

Consider walking into a restaurant in a foreign city. You’re starving and have no idea what’s good. Luckily, there is a section of the menu labelled “most popular dishes,” that’s exactly what you’re likely to order.

Social proof is not all bad. It’s one of the main ways we learn in life.

LIKING

Your best friend can convince you of nearly anything — no matter how foolish. However, it’s nearly impossible for someone you don’t like to change your mind on something, no matter how obviously right they are.

Tupperware parties work on the principle of liking. Who can say no to a good friend?

One way people exploit this principle is to find ways to make you like them. Do you like golf? Me too. Do you like football? Me too. Do you like reading? Me too. Although often these are genuine, sometimes they’re manipulative. Look at how police use “good” cop, and “bad” cop tactics to break suspect's stories.

You are more prone to liking people who like you. This is why Joe Girard, the world’s “greatest car salesman,” sends every customer a holiday card with the message “I like you.” And you know what, it works. People go back to him.

This section reminds me of that quote, people will forget what you did, or what you said, they will never forget how you made them feel.

Authority

This relates to our tendency to be persuaded by authority figures who demonstrate knowledge, confidence, and credibility.

This is why most talks from people you are not familiar with start with a bio or background. These few minutes are used to establish the authority of the speaker and increase the odds they can influence the audience. Overt signs of authority – a uniform, engineering rings, or a lab coat all signal authority.

We’re taught from a young age to listen to those in charge. Most times, this works out ok, but sometimes it doesn’t. Blind trust can kill you.

The first rule of flying is that the co-pilot is never supposed to let the plane crash, no matter what, even in a simulator. The pilot, however, is the authority figure on the plane. In simulators, they’ve had pilots intentionally do things that will obviously crash the plane and the co-pilot just sits there because the pilot is the authority figure.

Scarcity

It is easy enough to feel properly warned against scarcity pressures, but it is substantially more difficult to act on that warning.

We all want something other people don’t or can’t have. If you offer people something rare or scarce, they are more likely to want it.

Scarcity can be real or perceived or made up. The thought of missing out is very strong, even raising the desire of the object above its rational value.

Conclusion

Each principle works by itself in a powerful way. Together the sum is much greater than each one individually.

Some of these strategies can be implemented skilfully and some clumsily. Recognising them early and realising the psychological pressures at play gives you a chance to call out the antics, although that may feel uncomfortable for the reasons why these strategies are so strong.